BMW: The Final Voyage – Tech Weekly

To clarify, I’ve never truly viewed myself as an avid car lover. My driving history includes an old vintage Volvo with a rusted floor, as well as more pragmatic options like a VW Golf and a dependable Mazda SUV that has served me faithfully for over a decade. In the end, I opted to lease a BMW i4 electric vehicle.

What drew me to the i4? Unlike many electric vehicles, BMWs exude a classic elegance rather than an extravagant futuristic design; they are exquisitely built cars that just happen to be electric. Their distinct charm among EVs in Northern California was also appealing. Moreover, the i4 provides a broader color selection, featuring shades like “Brooklyn Gray,” which was far more enticing than Tesla’s limited palette. Although I knew early adopters dealt with some software glitches, I set those worries aside, mesmerized by my new BMW. The initial drives were exhilarating; the car felt like a dream, the ride was smooth, and the overall experience was thrilling.

Fast forward two years, and I find myself in an unexpected predicament: I’m eagerly counting down the days until my lease on this luxury vehicle concludes, largely due to software issues that make my old, rusty Volvo seem remarkably dependable.

A love story turned sour

Let’s explore how this relationship soured, starting with the simplest task: entering my car. More often than not, I’ve found myself stranded in parking lots, unable to unlock the doors with my phone, despite the BMW Digital Key being designed for this purpose. While this may seem trivial, it’s a significant hassle, especially when I’m managing melting groceries while trying to access my own vehicle.

The ongoing digital key issues have become so common that BMW owners now share elaborate, step-by-step workarounds like they’re defusing a bomb: “1. Open the BMW app to unlock the door. 2. Log into your BMW ID in iDrive. 3. Place your iPhone in the charging tray. 4. Wait for the digital key to appear in the Wallet app. 5. Double-tap the side button, confirm with Face ID, and—finally—start the car.”

Another significant source of annoyance is the user profile system. I’ve found it challenging to create guest profiles without interfering with my own settings. If someone else drives my car even once, it automatically syncs with their phone and playlists the moment they come within Bluetooth range. BMW has complicated the profile system to the extent that extra linking steps are required when it should be a simple process.

The CarPlay integration is either lacking or genuinely problematic. Software updates frequently interrupt CarPlay functionality, often requiring a complete reboot of the iDrive system. The issues with the reverse camera are particularly vexing; when switching to reverse using CarPlay navigation and then back to drive, you’re taken to the home screen instead of continuing navigation.

Moreover, the backup camera is nearly ineffective in low-light situations, and the screen often becomes too hot to touch.

Let’s also address the lighting issues. If I forget to manually lock the car after leaving, I might return to find the exterior lights still illuminated. Initially, I blamed this on my forgetfulness, but after it occurred three times, I discovered it’s a “feature” where the i4 enters a “pseudo-sleep mode,” keeping lights and other systems active indefinitely. Many owners have reported similar occurrences: park the car, walk away, and return to find it shining like a lighthouse, draining the battery.

Beyond the sense that the car has frequent memory lapses, there are serious safety concerns as well. The 2022 i4 had six recalls in its first year, including one for a fire hazard while parked, prompting BMW to advise owners to “stop driving immediately.” Following that, additional recalls were issued for battery control units that could lead to unexpected power failures.

While BMW releases software updates for the i4 every few months, the process is convoluted. Updates often disrupt connected services, resulting in lost traffic information, weather updates, remote parking features, and even connectivity through the MyBMW app.

The over-the-air update system itself is unreliable, with reports of updates freezing at various percentages for days, frequently necessitating a trip to the dealership for manual installation.

What’s particularly frustrating is that BMW promotes these vehicles as premium products. The i4 starts at over $50,000, with fully loaded models surpassing $70,000. In contrast, owners of more budget-friendly brands like Hyundais and Lexuses report robust connectivity and seamless user experiences.

I’m not suggesting the company hurried these cars to market without adequately testing their digital systems, treating customers as beta testers with little empathy for their concerns, but I’m also not dismissing that possibility.

I genuinely hoped this relationship would flourish. The i4 is stunning, drives beautifully, and encompasses everything I initially desired in an electric vehicle. However, I can’t maintain a relationship where the basic functions—such as unlocking doors, syncing my phone, and navigating—require constant effort. (Unfortunately, I lack the patience for that.)

Even my tech-savvy husband, who usually attributes issues to user error, recently exited the vehicle after a particularly frustrating software glitch, stating he would “need to meditate for a bit.”

Owning a vehicle shouldn’t be a constant source of annoyance. I shouldn’t have to keep a mental checklist of workarounds for features that should operate smoothly. I shouldn’t dread software updates for fear they might disrupt something that was (mostly) functioning well.

So, BMW, I’ve reached my breaking point. You designed a beautiful car, but you tainted it with software that is so flawed it borders on the absurd. I envisioned us riding off into the sunset together. Instead, I’m returning my i4 to the dealership as my lease wraps up, and unexpectedly, I can’t wait.